the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
