yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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