the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
