wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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