You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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