I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
