I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
