No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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