we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
