dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
