Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You are the jesus of drinking
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
