She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
