Just cropdusted the office
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
