I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
