STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
