Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
