They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
