oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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