you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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