so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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