That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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