Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I am naked and annoyed.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
