the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I am available for nakedness
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
