So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
the day after is always just damage control
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
