just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
We just shotgunned beers for America
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
