Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
