I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
