That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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