I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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