I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
