You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
