rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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