So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
