I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
