call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
