yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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