Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
