Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
