Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
