So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
