i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
