I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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