and she was petting her beer can
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
