I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
