My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
