1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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