The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
