My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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