come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
