This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
